I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
