hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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