Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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