I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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