i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We just shotgunned beers for America
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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