My hair reeks of homosexuality.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
it's great music for shaving your balls
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
