I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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