He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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