At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
