He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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