You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
