One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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