He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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