He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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