i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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