That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
