I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
