Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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