I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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