nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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