found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
