suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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