Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Be still, my beating vagina.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
