the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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