I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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