Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
