Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
