In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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