another moral hangover. fuck.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
