I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize