I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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