is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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