Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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