apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
