I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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