She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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