Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
