Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize