The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize