This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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