if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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