Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
