i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
