No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
