no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
