Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
