The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
