remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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