i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Please don't give away my fajitas
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
