Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
