I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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