that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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