doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
