I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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