you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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