It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
