I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Less talking, more tequila
ttyl tear gas
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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